There are multiple timelines running through this grin. However the threads and streams of the kleptomaniac tribulations get tangled in just one solution – the ghosts that haunt me at night.
I close my eyes, and I see a temptress dancing in front of feathers of lust, and you connive as you see me, expecting me to conspire in your favor. I can deny you my gifts, I can deny you my vocabulary in spite of our story, but you’ve earned something tonight, and it’s more than just mere sympathy.
How am I supposed to save you, if you want to die?
Either you’re too special or I just don’t know you enough. The far end of this relationship is based in a lie, this fantasy I’ve been kneeling after is just a product of the pain you’ve caused. I can’t change the past, I can’t speak to destiny, but I can tell you in how many ways you’ve changed me.
The world where I come from is throbbing with cowardice and deceit, and I’m trying so hard to get my head away from its pull. But I came to know you, and you seem like you could fit perfectly in that world, yet your mask makes you look so beautiful. No Galisova, I can’t imagine you without that dress. I’m not like that.
But nobody knows the world I’m from, I don’t think it exists in the measurements of this hypothesis. I’ll just leave the scriptures here.
It’s like I just broke a time-loop, only to find my greatest fears. It feels great, but its killing me.
What if I can trust only one of your eyes? One is looking away, the other one is looking directly at me.
Your eyes are dying portmanteau. Those starlights are growing dim with every passing lullaby. Our patience was compromised when you decided to photograph reality through fiction, but tonight spring will marry the atmosphere. A new born son will enchant our melanin and our muscles will grown in steroid directions, not because of the direness of the imminent decay of winter, but because of my right to be a part of this secular manifesto.
Your god hasn’t given me many chances at happiness, but fate is now coveted in stripes and white smoke. Just like penance, it is a choice I will dare to deform. Colors come and go, but there is a reason for the desaturated composition of my movements, as I have now the photons I need to digest the instability of what Moses called a path.
Sing to my consciousness now, feed my thrill. Obliterate the scorpions that have purged our vaccines and read my thoughts as I turn into the visions you neglect to see. Your god didn’t tell you anything about this, am I right?
The entropy of the earth is increasing with every second, but this scenario is still the same. You were the only beautiful thing time travel ever gave me, so why can’t you start believing in new deities? I found my own, and I offered her my art and my hand in marriage. Can’t you see past cycles? I own this manifest, your rules don’t apply to the truce I concealed with God.
Destiny called when I needed you the most. You were there, touching my face when tears gave in to gravity’s pull. But you left me yet again Nilofer, and I haven’t dreamed about you since that day.
At least I know what terrifies me now; the possibility of finding happiness without you. I know I should accept the distance confined by this wall, but it will never feel right.
All I do is remember the details in your face, and try to touch them with my sight. It’s not the perfection I get when multiplying your voice times pi, but it’s the best I can do to dissect this. Then again, I’m trapped in time, and I don’t want to leave, unless you help me out.